Indigestion.

Well I'm feeling very aligned with that old saying "bitten off more than you can chew" today.

I'm blogging right now in a (not so veiled) attempt at procrastinating.

If I had to articulate the daily responsibilities of my life in the style of a position description, I'd likely fail as the general belief is, such documents should be kept succinct!

A few tags I'd add under the 'full time' column would be Wife, Mother, Domestic Goddess, Manager, Negotiations Consultant, Crisis Management, the all round 'go-to girl'

I'm feeling swamped. Between my home life with my husband and 3year old, my work life where I manage a team of staff split over two geographic operational centres, I've now realised, I'm somehow signed up for FOUR courses.

I have several assignments currently underway, and a project at home

involving 'night time toilet training' so the sleep deprivation is really aiding my desire to leave this page, and head back over to my word file. **Insert sarcastic tone here** I'm sure I'd feel more motivated if the word file for my assignment wasn't considerably more 'blank' than this blog!

How did this happen? How can I possibly have signed up for so many different courses? I'm going to blame the night time toilet training! I must have fallen asleep at work due to the sleep deprivation, and during a phase of 'sleepworking' done the unthinkable... Made too many commitments.

Sleep tight angels

So it's Mothers day. For many that means kids bouncing on the bed in the morning screaming excitedly while Dad carries in a tray of breakfast. For others it means a family day out or even a day 'off'. For single Mums, it may mean another challenging day ahead but still feeling blessed thanks to her kids.

This morning I got what I wished for. A sleep in. In fact when I awoke the house was quiet, empty....barren

While on Mothers Day I am eternally grateful I am a Mother. I am more of a Mother than many know. I have born one Son. A beautify healthy full of life (and attitude) son. He is the centre of my life. He is my motivation to get out of bed every day. I work to provide him a lifestyle I would never have dreamed of as a child. And while I am very grateful I have him, there are four others I have lost.

I remember my four sleeping Angels on Mothers day. For me Mothers day is a day of remembrance and mourning. It is a day I find hard to 'celebrate' I paste on a smile, take my own Mother to lunch accept all the benign well wishes from those oblivious and carry on... as so many women do.

On Mothers day I remember my Angels born sleeping, My friends who have endured this same palpable loss and I pray that my child will never know this depth of loss.

I wish for all the 'innocents' out there that they remain so. That they experience the wonder of an innocent pregnancy never fearing or doubting a 'successful' outcome. That they never have to live with the daily anxiety that comes with pregnancy wondering when the inevitble loss will occur. Never having to deal with the fact they have born a live child and wondered, 'How the fuck did that happen?' and then have to figure out how bond with a child they never expected to arrive because for the duration of pregnancy you prepare yourself to deal with another expected loss.

Mothers day is a double whammy for me, and it may also be the same for someone you know.
I envy your innocence. I'm jealous of your trust in life. Do not judge me for spoiling my child. He is the only child I will have.

The Devil is in the Detail

Okay I am looking quizzically at my phone as I see an incoming call from my Dad.  During working hours that's a little out of character. After all, I'm a very busy woman. Must be something serious right?

I answer - curiosity peaked.

So he tells me he's driving to the airport. I knew this would be the case. We'd already discussed 'the plan' the night before. He was taking my Aunt to the airport for her return trip to Perth after a week in Sydney.
So far, my peaked curiosity is feeling a little disappointed. After all, nothing exciting here right? Humph

Dad's tone is very........... measured.

Aunty is in the car with him of course.

I'm then asked a favour....

Would I mind ringing Mum to let her know she may need to delay stripping the guest bed?

But why? (wow, in my head I sound like an annoying child in the back seat of a car on a long drive)

It would seem that Aunty's flight was......... A.M. NOT P.M.

I now understand. Dad is ringing me using his measured voice desperatley trying to convey in the most innocuous possible way, how profoundly pissed off he is at this glaringly inconvenient circumstance he now finds himself.

All I can think to say is 'Oops, didn't anyone confirm the flight yesterday? Aren't you supposed to do check the day before?'

Measure voice responds ' There must have been an oversight'
Oh crap, he's fuming and can't let off steam with Aunty in the car. I wonder if I'm on speaker phone? Better not ask anymore about who booked the flights etc. After all, what good would that do now?

I suggest they keep heading to the airport anyway. Lucky for EVERYONE she managed to buy a seat on a later flight...

when booking your flights, be sure to check the detail. That AM/PM drop down box.......it's a doozy!